Saturday, October 19, 2019

A past memory coming to surface again

It was a terrible day. I had met with an accident. I was driving the car and the family was with me. Not sure what had happened in those unlucky few seconds, I had lost control of the car and the whole car got dragged off the road, hit a 5 feet high stone pillar, turned over and flipped. Damage to the car was severe but the we the occupants came out with minor injuries. Though I recovered from the shock quickly my family was not. It was difficult for them to digest what had happened in a matter of few seconds. My son, who was three years old at that time, was in a complete shock and was crying non-stop. While I was thinking what to do next and how to come out of the mess, I saw few people rushing to help us. They helped us remove the luggage and some even asking if we needed a drop somewhere. Then to my surprise, I saw few 'Jogamma' (third gender eunuchs) coming forward to help us. They took my crying son to a nearby house they were living in, offered water, helped him come out of the shock. They gave my family a place to sit and think and keep our luggage for the time being. They assured everything will be alright and reminded that it is only car out of shape and we the family are safe. I arranged a cab for my family to go back to Bangalore. I stayed back at the place and made arrangements to tow the car. After that I visited a Police station to lodge a complaint and the procedures took till evening and then headed back to Bangalore.

It was an unusual day, a tiring one. I had not met with any accident until that day. And that experience had drained energy out of me to do anything. Late evening when I reached home, I logged on to my computer and there was an email which caught my notice. It was from Milaap (a social service lending platform) showing I had a repayment for the interest free loan I had given through them a couple of months ago to a Devadasi, a Jogamma. My loan was supposed to help her gain independence by buying buffalo's for livelihood. I could not understand if the events of 'Jogamma' helping me recover from the shock of accident in the morning and the repayment with thanks I had received the same day had a relation. Coincidence or not, I was already tired for the day and slept off.

The accident took more than an year for me to come out from it. I refused to drive for almost an year after that incident. As the emotions settled in, when we are going the same way, I asked my driver to stop there for a while, got down and went around the place of accident. Also visited the house where Jogamma  had offered a place to sit and relax. But the inmates were all different now and I could not recognize any of them. I found a small temple outside the house, offered prayers there and left the place. Afterwards that place did not haunt or scare me anymore.

It appeared like that accident was due to spell of an evil spirit to me sometimes as I was facing one or the other unusual, awkward experiences while driving that car. This is while there were no strong evidences to believe so and I did not believe in super natural things anyway. An astrologer we had consulted had suggested to abandon the car and said the accident was supposed to end our lives but it is God's grace and the place it happened had things in our favor. I did not want to analyze it further, sold the car and took the event as a moment of bad luck and moved on with life. Five years rolled.

When I read the book 'Nine Lives' through the last week, it's two chapters, one on the lives of Devadasi's and their God and another chapter on those who live on the cremation ground and use the skulls of those who died prematurely to please those spirits to take advantage in their sadhana, all my past memories came to surface again. For a moment, it appeared like whatever I went through on the day of my accident was not coincidence but it was cause and effect. Again, I do not want to believe  in the super natural things but this time I could put my past experience into writing with ease. What had remained in the deep recesses of my memory is out of me now and should not bother me in the future.

Now I am looking forward for new experiences and what the life has to offer.

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