Long way to the top but a short trip to the irrelevance

Ten years ago, it would have been impossible to get an appointment with Dr. Manmohan Singh, the then Prime Minister of India. He had an illustrious career of many decades, from working as an Economics professor to serving United Nations to Governor of RBI to Deputy Chairman of Planning Commission to Finance Minister and finally a Prime Minister for two terms. He left PM’s office in 2014 but in less than a decade, no media of current times covers him or remembers him. Though he is 90 years old, he may have valuable advice to offer but everyone is an economist these days. While leaving his office he anticipated history will be kind to him. History not only has forgotten to be kinder to him but seems to have forgotten him entirely.

Shah Rukh Khan was known as King Khan or Badshah of Bollywood. His films were box-office hits. He had ruled the filmland for many years. But times have changed. His romance does not charm anyone anymore. There are new guys in the town. The tunes to which they sing, and dance have become different too.

400 years ago, Shah Jahan (Emperor of the World) was busy fighting wars, amassing wealth, building Taj Mahal, and finding jewels for his Peacock throne. All of it came to a sudden end as he was home jailed by his son. When he had nothing else to do, did he think about how difficult it was to survive at the top?

Whether it was in the past or present, and whatever the profession is, be it a King, a politician, a movie star, or a sportsman they all had toiled to get to the top and had a tough time surviving at the top. Fighting the contenders, and reinventing themselves to stay relevant is hard work, even for Stalin or Hitler. That includes Napoleon, a master strategist, who had to accept the defeat in the end.

One common thing to note from all these instances is that it is a long way to the top which takes many decades of hard work. Staying there is even more challenging. But sliding down to irrelevance is a short trip. Trust gained over many years can be destroyed with a single wrong move. Empires that had survived for centuries were destroyed in a single day with a loss in the war. Same with the money too. Earnings of decades can be lost in little or no time. Embrace success but stay humble as success is transient.

Picture Credit: Vishal Khandelwal

Survival of the kindest

In a podcast, Dacher Keltner mentioned “Survival of the kindest” and attributed it to Charles Darwin as the proposer of this idea. I was drawn to this thought and wanted to explore it further. Here is what I have learned. 

Not the strongest but the fittest survive

We all know Charles Darwin and learned in school about him. Human beings are weaker in comparison to a Tiger, a Bison, or an Elephant and have no chance of survival in a one-to-one fight. But humans made weapons, used fire to their advantage, cooperated with other human beings to take on animals lot bigger than them, and climbed the evolution ladder expanding their population. Cooperation can kill competition. That is the essence.

Gratitude is at the root

Before we get into understanding kindness, we need to understand gratitude and compassion. Though human beings no more live in the wild, we still struggle to survive or we think so. The issues we face have become different. Most of the issues we face are not struggles for survival. They are not needs (like food, water, shelter) which are essential for survival but desires (like wealth, power, fame) of wanting more. So, when a person is in a struggle, he gets tired of stress and anxiety. But look at those who have fewer complaints about life and have more gratitude. They thank God every day for food on their plate or a roof over their head. They have a positive approach to life. They have little or no stress and are much happier in life. They are the fittest to survive.

Compassion

Tiger cubs when they lose their mother hardly have any chances of survival in the jungle. That is because Tigers live alone. Think of Deer and Monkeys who live in a pack. These animals have compassion and care for each other. They alarm each other and help raise each other’s kids. That helps those species beat the game of evolution. Same thing with human beings. If you have a support group who cares for you, you are likely to face struggles with ease and would do better.

Kindness

Apart from gratitude and compassion, a kind person is selfless and unconditional. It does not mean they don’t fight for their survival. They will have strong boundaries with narcissists who want to misuse kind people. Knowing who to be kind to is a necessary skill too. With all that in place, kind persons not only do well with their own survival but help others do better too. They uplift the weak and provide them with a better playground. That is what Shivakumar Swamiji of Tumkur Siddaganga Mutt did. He helped many thousands survive and do better. 

Kind people not just survive but help the survival of their species. You don’t find them in the animal kingdom. They make humans the best species for survival.

Children of super-rich yet uneasy lives

Who does not want to be a son or daughter of a billionaire? It turns out that all of them are not spoilt kids of rich parents. Few of them have uneasy lives too. Read on to find out who they are.

Meet Peter Buffett. He is the youngest of Warren Buffet’s three children. Well, who does not know Warren Buffett, one of the richest persons in the world? Do you know when Peter found out that his father was a wealthy person? Only after he had turned 25. Such was his upbringing, a very normal one. Nothing like that of a rich family flashing their wealth as they show in the movies. Neither Peter nor his siblings got into their father’s business. Instead, they chose to do what they like. It was their father’s advice too. All three of Warren Buffett’s kids got a billion dollars each, not to spend on themselves but to spend on others through philanthropy. Warren Buffet has donated 85% of his wealth to the Gates foundation. Peter Buffet does not mind what his father does with his wealth. He is a musician, and he earns decent money but that is nothing compared to what his legendary father earns. He would have been seen as a successful musician had he not been a son of Warren. The shadow of his father is too dark and his achievements as a musician won't shine bright.

(Reference: Podcast episode ‘Growing Up Buffett’ on Freakonomics Radio)

Steve Jobs was a legend. He made smartphones an indispensable part of our lives. The company he built, Apple, is the largest company in the world in financial terms. More than the accumulation of wealth, Steve Jobs was known for his innovation, marketing skills, and ability to disrupt industry and markets. A very successful person indeed. But how about his personal life? If you happened to read his biography, you would have observed that he was an eccentric person, and not known to have good relationships with people. If you read the book ‘Small Fry’ written by Lisa Brennan-Jobs, you will not only wonder why Steve Jobs had such a complex personality and your respect for him would fade as well (at least it happened to me). Lisa was born to Steve Jobs and his girlfriend Chrisann Brennan. They were separated before Lisa was born. Steve Jobs did not accept Lisa as his daughter and denied his paternity for many years only to accept it and reconcile during the final years of his life. Lisa was brought up by a single parent, her mother, who had to support her by cleaning houses. Lisa in her memoir ‘Small Fry’ has documented the difficulties of her childhood and the complex relationship she had with her father. What use is an apology by a great father on his deathbed? But that is what Lisa had in her fate. 

(Reference: 'Small Fry' book by Lisa Jobs)

Left: Warren Buffet and Peter Buffett; Right: Lisa with her father Steve Jobs

If life was a vacation …

Let us say you are planning for a vacation, a holiday trip to a place you always wanted to go. The purpose of your vacation is to relax, be happy and explore new things. Vacations are not entirely pleasant, there are always inconveniences that travel would bring, and there would be unexpected compromises during your stay. But the good thing is, you have decided to stay happy and enjoy the moment no matter what.

 

Before leaving home, you will pack only necessary things to keep the baggage light and surely not all the things you have at home that add to comfort get into your bag.

 

And while on the way if you realize that you forgot to bring some necessary thing (like a cell phone charger), you won’t mind borrowing it from your fellow traveler. And for that sake, you won’t return to your home wasting time. You are focused on journey ahead and not to cut-it-short or take U-turns unnecessarily.

 

After reaching the destination, you begin to explore new things. And there will be many first-time experiences. Not only the places you had not seen before, cuisines you had not tasted become familiar to you, also you want to go on fun rides too. And you won’t forget to smile at co-tourists and make new friends. Meanwhile, you did not care how much you earned, how famous you became or how much control you could exercise on others. Anyway, they were not the purpose of a holiday trip. Rather focus was on spending time with your family and their happiness (and your own too).

 

By the time vacation comes to an end, you would have exchanged money and time for finer experiences life could offer. You think time is well spent. You also think you should go on vacation again for the happiness it brings and the experiences it provides with.

 

Now let us see life in a different perspective. If life was a vacation, you would have resolved to stay happy, no matter what. You would have reduced your luggage and remained flexible. You will leave things behind and not worry about them. You will be open to newer experiences of life and make your journey a memorable one.

 

I won’t say other aspects of life like career, making money, fame (and what not) are not important. But none of them would keep you happy like when you were on a vacation (though you would be spending hard earned money). I want to earn only that much money which lets me live like I am on a vacation and pursue newer experiences. I want to avoid making my baggage heavy. You are my co-tourists. I smile at you. And those of you who smiled back, hurray, we are good friends!

A photo from trip to Melukote (2016)

ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಜೀವನ ನಡೆವುದೋ ಅದೇ ನಮ್ಮೂರು

ಇದು 'ನೋಡಿ ಸ್ವಾಮಿ ನಾವಿರೋದು ಹೀಗೆ' ಚಿತ್ರದ ಒಂದು ಹಾಡಿನ ಸಾಲು. ಈ ಹಾಡಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಶಂಕರ್ ನಾಗ್ ಒಂದು ಜೋಪಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಯಾಗಿ ಕಾಲು ಚಾಚಿ ಕುಳಿತು 'ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಜೀವನ ನಡೆವುದೋ ಅದೇ ನಮ್ಮೂರು' ಎಂದು ಹಾಡುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಆ ಮನುಷ್ಯ ಬದುಕಿದ್ದು ಹಾಗೇನೇ. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಆ ಹಾಡಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಶಂಕರ್ ನಾಗ್ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು ನಟನೆ ಅನಿಸುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಆ ಹಾಡಿನಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಫಿಲಾಸಫಿ ಅನ್ನು ನಾನು ಕೂಡ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಅಳವಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೇನೆ.

ನಮ್ಮೂರು ಅಂದರೆ ನಾನು ಹುಟ್ಟಿ ಬೆಳೆದ ಊರು, ಮಸ್ಕಿ ನಂಗಿಷ್ಟ. ಹತ್ತೆನೆಯ ತರಗತಿ ಮುಗಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಅಂದಿಗೆ ನಮ್ಮೂರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವುದೇ ಕಾಲೇಜುಗಳು ಇಲ್ಲವಾದ್ದರಿಂದ ಊರು ಬಿಡುವುದು ಅವಶ್ಯಕ ಇತ್ತು. ಪಿ.ಯು.ಸಿ. ಮೊದಲನೇ ವರುಷ ಓದಿದ್ದು ಲಿಂಗಸಗೂರಿನಲ್ಲಿ (ಪ್ರತಿ ದಿನ ಬಸ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಓಡಾಡಿ).  ಎರಡನೇ ವರುಷ ಓದಿದ್ದು ರಾಯಚೂರಿನಲ್ಲಿ, ಅದು ಮೊದಲನೇ ಬಾರಿಗೆ ಊರು  ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದು. ಅದಾದ ಮೇಲೆ ೧೯೯೪ ರಲ್ಲಿ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದು ಉರಿ ಬಿಸಿಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ರಣ ಖಾರ ತಿಂದು, ಖಡಕ್ ಚಹಾ ಕುಡಿದು, ಒರಟು ಮಾತನಾಡುವ ಕಲಬುರ್ಗಿಗೆ. ಆದರೆ ಮುಸ್ಸಂಜೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಜನ ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕಿಶೋರ್ ಕುಮಾರ್, ಮೊಹಮ್ಮದ್ ರಫಿ ಹಾಡುಗಳು ಕೂಡ ಅಷ್ಟೇ ತಂಪು. ಹಾಗೆಯೆ ಅಲ್ಲಿಯ ಗುರುದತ್ ಖಾನಾವಳಿ ಊಟ ಬೇರೆ ಯಾವುದರ ಜೊತೆಗೂ ಹೋಲಿಕೆ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಅಸಾಧ್ಯ. ನಂತರ ೧೯೯೯ ರಲ್ಲಿ ಆರು ತಿಂಗಳು ಹುಬ್ಬಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ತರೆಬೇತಿಗೆಂದು ೧,೫೦೦ ರೂಪಾಯಿ ಸ್ಟೈಪೆಂಡ್ ಪಡೆದು ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಜೀವನ ಸಾಗಿಸಿ (ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಉಳಿಸಿ ಕೂಡ) ಆ ಊರಿನ ಸವಿ ಸವಿದದ್ದಾಯಿತು.

ಓದುವುದು ಮುಗಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರಿದ್ದ ದೂರದ ಪುಣೆಗೆ ನೌಕರಿ ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ. ಆದರೆ ಮೊದಲ ಇಂಟರ್ವ್ಯೂ ಬಂದಿದ್ದು ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನಲ್ಲಿ. ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದು ಪೂರ್ತಿ ೨,೫೦೦ ರೂಪಾಯಿ ಸಂಬಳದ ನೌಕರಿ. ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ದುಡ್ಡು ಕೇಳುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಎನ್ನುವ ಧೃಢ ನಿರ್ಧಾರ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದ ನನಗೆ ಅಷ್ಟು ಸಾಕಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಅದೇ ಊರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ನೌಕರಿಗಳು ಬದಲಾದವು. ಆದರೆ ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಇಲ್ಲಿಯವರೆಗೆ ದುಡಿಯುವ ಅವಕಾಶ ನೀಡಿದ್ದು ಬೆಂಗಳೂರೇ. ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಎನ್ನುವ ಊರಿಗೆ, ನನಗೆ ನೌಕರಿ ಕೊಟ್ಟಿರುವ ಕಂಪನಿ ಗೆ ಮತ್ತು ಕೇಳಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ಸಾಲ ಕೊಡುವ HDFC ಬ್ಯಾಂಕ್ ಗೆ ನಾನು ಚಿರ ಋಣಿ.

ನೆಲೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದು ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಆದರೂ, ನನಗೆ ತಿರುಗುವ ಹುಚ್ಚು. ಮಾರುತಿ-೮೦೦ ಕಾರಲ್ಲಿಗೆಳೆಯರ ಜೊತೆ ಬಂಡೀಪುರ ಪ್ರವಾಸ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ ಅಷ್ಟೇ ಅಲ್ಲ, ಭಾರತದ ಮೂಲೆ ಮೂಲೆ ನೋಡಿ, ಅರಿಯುವ ಹವ್ಯಾಸ ನನ್ನದು. ಮತ್ತು ಕೆಲಸದ ನಿಮಿತ್ತ ವಿದೇಶಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೋಗುವ ಅವಕಾಶ ಬೇರೆ. ಮೊದಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದು ಚಳಿಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ರಸ್ತೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಹಿಮ ಸುರಿದು ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಕಂಗಾಲು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಈರಿ ಎನ್ನುವ ಅಮೇರಿಕಾದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಒಂದು ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಪಟ್ಟಣಕ್ಕೆ. ನಂತರ ಇಟಲಿ ದೇಶದ ಫ್ಲಾರೆನ್ಸ್ ನಗರದಲ್ಲಿ ಎರಡು ತಿಂಗಳುಗಳ ಕಾಲ ಇದ್ದೆ. ಆಮೇಲೆ ಅಮೇರಿಕಾ ದೇಶದ ಸಾಂಟಾ ಕ್ಲಾರಾ ಎನ್ನುವ ಪಟ್ಟಣದಲ್ಲಿ ತಿಂಗಳುಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ಇರುವ ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆ ನನ್ನ ನೌಕರಿಗಿತ್ತು. ಸಿಂಗಾಪುರ್ ದೇಶದ ಆರಾಮದಾಯಕತೆ, ತೈವಾನ್ ದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಸ್ಯಾಹಾರಿ ಊಟ ಸಿಗದೇ ಬರಿ ಸೇಬು ಹಣ್ಣು ತಿಂದು ಬದುಕಿದ್ದು ಕೂಡ ನನ್ನ ಅನುಭವದ ಒಂದು ಭಾಗ.

"ಬದುಕು ಕರೆದೊಯ್ದ ಕಡೆ ಹೋದೆ ನಾನು" ಎಂದು ನಾನು ಈಗ ಹಾಡಬಹುದು. ಆದರೆ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಹಾಯವಾಗಿದ್ದು ಚಿಕ್ಕಂದಿನಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಿದ್ದ "ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಜೀವನ ನಡೆವುದೋ ಅದೇ ನಮ್ಮೂರು" ಎನ್ನುವ ಗೀತೆ. ಬದುಕು ನಡೆಸಿದ ಊರುಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ನಮ್ಮವೇ ಎನ್ನುವ ಭಾವ ನನ್ನದು. ಮತ್ತೆ ಕಲಬುರ್ಗಿಗೆ ಅಥವಾ ಹುಬ್ಬಳಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಜೀವನ ನಡೆಸುವ ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆ ಬಂದರೆ ಎರಡನೆಯ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡದೇ ಹೊರಟು ಬಿಡುತ್ತೇನೆ. ಆದರೆ ದುಡಿಯುವ ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆ ಕೊನೆಯಾಗುತ್ತ ಬಂದಿದೆ. ಅದು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಗಿದ್ದು ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತು ವರುಷ ದುಡಿದು ಉಳಿಸಿದ ಹಣದಿಂದ. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಹುಟ್ಟೂರಿಗೆ ಇಂದಲ್ಲ ನಾಳೆ ಮರಳುವ ಇರಾದೆ ನನ್ನದು. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಲ್ಯ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಓದಿದ ಶಾಲೆ ಇದೆ. ನಡೆದುಕೊಂಡ ದೇವಸ್ಥಾನಗಳು ಇವೆ. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಪರಕೀಯ ಎನ್ನುವ ಭಾವನೆ ಬೇಕಿಲ್ಲ. 

ಆದರೆ ಯಾವ ಊರಲ್ಲೂ ನನಗೆ ನಾನು ಪರಕೀಯ ಎನ್ನುವ ಭಾವನೆ ಮೂಡಿಲ್ಲ. ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ನಾನು ಅವರಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬವನಾಗಿ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ. ಹಿಮಾಲಯ ಪ್ರವಾಸ ಹೋದಾಗ ಮೂರು ಹೊತ್ತು ಆಲೂ ಪರೋಟ ತಿಂದು ಜೀವನ ಕಳೆದಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಸಂತೋಷವಾಗಿಯೇ! ಹಾಗೆಯೆ ಕೆಲವು ತಿಂಗಳುಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಕುಟುಂಬದ ಜೊತೆ ಪ್ರವಾಸ ಹೋದಾಗ, ಎಲ್ಲ ಊರುಗಳು ಕೂಡ ನಮ್ಮೂರೇ ಅನಿಸುತಿತ್ತು. ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಒಪ್ಪಿದ್ದರೆ ರಿಷಿಕೇಶ ದಲ್ಲಿ ಅಥವಾ ನೈನಿತಾಲ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ದೀರ್ಘ ಕಾಲ ಕಳೆಯಲು ನನಗೆ ಯಾವ ಯಾವ ಅಭ್ಯಂತರವೂ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ.

ನನ್ನ ಮಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಯಾವ ಊರು ಹೆಚ್ಚಲ್ಲ, ಕಡಿಮೆ ಕೂಡ ಅಲ್ಲ. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ನಮಗೆ ಜೀವನ ಅವಕಾಶ ಇದ್ದರೆ, ಕೆಲವು ಗೆಳೆಯರು ಸಿಕ್ಕರೆ ಅದೇ ನಮ್ಮೂರು. ಅದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ ಶಂಕರ್ ನಾಗ್ ಚಿತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಡಿದ್ದು.

"ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಜೀವನ ನಡೆವುದೋ ಅದೇ ನಮ್ಮೂರು

ಯಾರು ಸ್ನೇಹದಿ ಬರುವರೋ ಅವರೇ ನಮ್ಮೋರು"