Definition
Google searches
define a narcissist as a person who is self-centered, lies easily to put others in
pain, lacks empathy and emotionally blackmail others regularly. They are well known for manipulating the facts to their
advantage. They do not accept any
accountability for themselves and pass on the entire blame to the other party. More
the pain their victims go through, higher the satisfaction the narcissist gets.
They just suck the spirit out of their victims by causing fear and guilt in them.
Tactics they employ
One of the
major methods they employ is gaslighting. An example of this would be a narcissist
doing something abusive and then denying it happened. Narcissist may also
convince their victims that they're too sensitive or think too much to instill self-doubt
in them.
They are
also aided with flying monkeys. These flying monkeys are the people who take
side of the narcissists. They do not give a hearing to the other party and jump
into argument with the victim to support the objective of the narcissist. This
is the trick narcissists employ to confuse the victims that their thinking is
wrong and make them yield.
Narcissist
set a trap creating anger in the victims by getting into arguments with them, make
their victims lose emotional control and say unwanted things and use it later for their advantage.
They instill guilt in their victims and play it repeatedly to emotionally crush
the souls of their victims.
Identification
and Defense
The irony
is it is not easy to spot a narcissist. They look normal and fair people to the
outside world. Only after someone goes through the emotional abuse by the
narcissist, he/she can identify him or her. Any of your efforts to change him/her
or make him aware of his/her personality disorder will only make things worse. Narcissists
never admit any of their mistakes and skillfully pass it to the other party.
Though you spotted a narcissist after going through the emotional abuse, you need to quickly set-up boundaries as a defense, both physical and emotional. You should take care not to divulge with any sensitive information with them. Avoid arguments with them and don't try to explain. Just remain calm and emotionally stable to break their game. Even when they change their tactics, you should not fall for them. Most importantly, you should not lose self-confidence in you and move on your life leaving them behind.
Summary
It would
be painful if the narcissist is a close family member but there is not much option left for you. They are unlikely to change for their life. And for those narcissists outside of your family, you should know that they exist,
become aware of their characteristics and intentions as early as possible, and get out of their way
at the first instance. You should be nice to everyone but should not give them
opportunity to abuse. If it becomes unavoidable, you should use their own tactics on them and make them leave you.
This quote
summarizes it in a sentence:
Love everybody but never sell your sword
