Book Review: Don’t kill him by Sheela Bernstiel

I have read many books of Osho. I have watched lots of his discourses on Youtube. I have listened to his lectures on Podcasts for hundreds of hours. He has an unimaginable influence on my psyche. But all of that I know of him are his teachings only and not of the man who he was. Though I did read his autobiography, it did not give me a complete picture of his weaknesses or vulnerabilities. But this book by Sheela made me see the unknown side of Osho which was largely kept private.

 

Sheela was a close aide, a personal secretary and an ardent devotee of Osho. When Osho was becoming uncomfortable in his Pune ashram, Sheela was very instrumental in making the arrangements for Osho’s relocation to the US. Also, she was hands on in setting up the ashram there. Not just identifying and buying the land in the state of Oregon for Osho, she was completely immersed and dedicated in raising the funds, building the premises, setting up the environment as per Osho’s instructions and successfully administering it for few years. That brought Sheela close to Osho and see personal life of Osho which others could not.

 

In the eye of the public, Osho never seemed to be interested in micro-managing the affairs of the ashram. But he was getting it done through his puppets and one of them was his secretary Sheela. She explains in this book how she and her fellow sanyasin’s dedication towards Osho made them do everything asked of them. They also had to manage a mad side of Osho. His sexual relationship with an associate, his unending desire for luxury cars, his tantrums about him leaving his body soon, his impatience and rage when things were not done to his satisfaction and so on. Though Sheela accepts the enlightened man to be a divine being, but in the same breath she exposes Osho's limitations and compulsions as a human being which made him no better than any other common person.

 

She also reveals the tactics employed by Osho in calling some of his rich followers as enlightened beings. That was only to empty their pockets to fulfil his personal desires and lavish lifestyle and he would soon deflate their egos once his task was accomplished. Nonetheless, there was no dearth of followers and the flow of money towards Osho. Tired of his tantrums, Sheela separated herself from Osho and his organization she had helped to build. Later Osho accused Sheela on several fronts and she got convicted and went through a jail term. Many years later, she has put forward her side of story through this book.

 

Osho’s teachings are unquestionable but his conduct and personal life is not. He remained controversial throughout his life and openly admitted that he was a Guru for rich people. But beyond that, his personal life was unknown to even people lived in his ashram except a very few in his closest circle. And one of them has put forward her version of story. Osho is no more to defend or give any response. But the interesting takeaway from this book is, Osho went through the same emotions of a normal person though he was spiritually evolved. Though his knowledge had known no bounds, his charm was artificial. He showed pathway to spiritual seekers but also emptied the pockets of the unsuspecting rich. He was an enlightened Guru but also a cunning businessman. This makes me think the Bhagawan was also a common man in many aspects as he could not live a life of austerity.