Surviving the Psychological Warfare

There was Dara Shukoh, prince of Mughal Kingdom, son of emperor Shah Jahan. He was designated to take the throne after his father. He was well versed with religion, philosophy, and many other subjects. He had built a library in Kashmir, a first of its kind. He was well known for his kindness and wisdom. He was a well-rounded personality liked by his people. But he lacked one important skill – fighting the war. And his younger brother Aurangzeb excelled at it while he lacked Dara Shukoh’s knowledge, wisdom, and calmness. When the war began between brothers, Dara Shukoh had to flee the war field, but he was soon caught and brutally killed by Aurangzeb. History thus taught us one important lesson: If you don’t have survival skills, all other skills, knowledge, and poise do not matter. They won’t help you survive. You are killed and forgotten.

 

In today’s world, we face more psychological warfare’s than the physical one’s. So instead of sharpening the physical weapons, we need to train our mind and senses to identify the abusers and defend ourselves. My recent experience was with a small group of abusers who wanted to manipulate me for their own benefit. Here is what my manipulators were doing.

• There were heap of lies and false accusations. They were fighting as a group and managed to keep it in private. If they were caught in logical argument, they would deny that they had lied, or such an incident ever had happened. If you produced proofs, they would further argue that that is not what they intended and in turn accuse me of understanding them wrongly.
• They never took accountability for their actions. All the blames were passed to me. And they would continue to distort facts and badmouth, creating a sympathy for themselves while portraying me as the person troubling them. But in private they were aggressive and manipulating.

After going through intense pain, I began to observe same trends repeating all over again and again. Soon I could understand their games. And thanks to Google and many people who had shared their similar experiences. I learnt that narcissism is for real. Then I began to make few changes to my ways when I encountered my manipulators again.

 

• Expose: I began to expose them and their tantrums with a slightly larger audience. It was no more secret and private. And it made the manipulators to work hard on their part.
• Make them aware of consequences: Rather than pleasing them, I too took an aggressive path and invited them for a fight, be it legal or an escalated physical aggression. And I made it clear to them that I was aware of all their lies. I had ample proofs to fight a legal war with them and also has the necessary support needed to endure a physical fight as well.
• Bring in supporters: I brought in my group of supporters too which conveyed them a message that I am not alone. I too got emotional support and practical advices in beating my abusers in their own game.

Surprisingly I learnt that the moral discussions could not help but things like exposing them, inviting them for an open war and bringing in supporters did help. They are withdrawing and calling for peace now as they are more worried about their loss. They understood they are fighting a losing battle and they misjudged their target. These abusers with a moral mask were shattered and they were made come to terms by turning the tables on them.

 

I wish Dara Shukoh had learnt battle skills along with those what he was praised for. Had he done so, India would have got a better emperor than Aurangzeb. But it did not turn out that way. That is history now. If we don't learn form history, it keeps repeating all over. We need to keep sharpening our fighting skills to survive. Just being moral won’t help.