Book Review: The Audacity of Hope by Barrack Obama

Politics without doing politics

 

When Barrack Obama was calling for press meets during earlier days of his political career, no one would turn up. He had to drive for hours to deliver a speech only to find that there are only two people sitting across a kitchen table. But he had the audacity to hope that his ideals would be noticed, and his thoughts accepted sooner than later. So began his journey into politics while he remained humble throughout his journey to the Whitehouse.

 

His thoughts, ideas, opinions, and struggles are all documented in this book ‘The Audacity of Hope’. This is not just his account or biography. It is much more than that. It is about American dream. It is about the oppressed. It is about Democrats vs. Republicans. It is about those who built the constitution. It is about what politics can do and cannot do to uplift the lives of those at the bottom of pyramid. It is about the values one brings to the table. It is about identifying the opportunities and taking bold steps to realize them. It is about representing his voters and constituency. It is about why few politicians change their personalities and become corrupt on the way. It is about how to influence the larger society to bring in a change. It is about bringing in policies that would show results only after a decade. It is about his religion and race. It is about remaining empathetic while being in control of political power.

 

If you had liked Obama delivering his speeches, he would further impress you in this book with his finer arguments, care for the underprivileged, and his ideas about a broader society not limiting to citizens of America. I wish I had read this book earlier but nevertheless better late than never. I wish that my sons read this book too when they are ready, to get a broader view of what life offers. For budding politicians, this book could be an inspiration. And for any other regular readers, this book will surely expand their horizons and refine their thoughts and perspectives.

Surviving the Psychological Warfare

There was Dara Shukoh, prince of Mughal Kingdom, son of emperor Shah Jahan. He was designated to take the throne after his father. He was well versed with religion, philosophy, and many other subjects. He had built a library in Kashmir, a first of its kind. He was well known for his kindness and wisdom. He was a well-rounded personality liked by his people. But he lacked one important skill – fighting the war. And his younger brother Aurangzeb excelled at it while he lacked Dara Shukoh’s knowledge, wisdom, and calmness. When the war began between brothers, Dara Shukoh had to flee the war field, but he was soon caught and brutally killed by Aurangzeb. History thus taught us one important lesson: If you don’t have survival skills, all other skills, knowledge, and poise do not matter. They won’t help you survive. You are killed and forgotten.

 

In today’s world, we face more psychological warfare’s than the physical one’s. So instead of sharpening the physical weapons, we need to train our mind and senses to identify the abusers and defend ourselves. My recent experience was with a small group of abusers who wanted to manipulate me for their own benefit. Here is what my manipulators were doing.

• There were heap of lies and false accusations. They were fighting as a group and managed to keep it in private. If they were caught in logical argument, they would deny that they had lied, or such an incident ever had happened. If you produced proofs, they would further argue that that is not what they intended and in turn accuse me of understanding them wrongly.
• They never took accountability for their actions. All the blames were passed to me. And they would continue to distort facts and badmouth, creating a sympathy for themselves while portraying me as the person troubling them. But in private they were aggressive and manipulating.

After going through intense pain, I began to observe same trends repeating all over again and again. Soon I could understand their games. And thanks to Google and many people who had shared their similar experiences. I learnt that narcissism is for real. Then I began to make few changes to my ways when I encountered my manipulators again.

 

• Expose: I began to expose them and their tantrums with a slightly larger audience. It was no more secret and private. And it made the manipulators to work hard on their part.
• Make them aware of consequences: Rather than pleasing them, I too took an aggressive path and invited them for a fight, be it legal or an escalated physical aggression. And I made it clear to them that I was aware of all their lies. I had ample proofs to fight a legal war with them and also has the necessary support needed to endure a physical fight as well.
• Bring in supporters: I brought in my group of supporters too which conveyed them a message that I am not alone. I too got emotional support and practical advices in beating my abusers in their own game.

Surprisingly I learnt that the moral discussions could not help but things like exposing them, inviting them for an open war and bringing in supporters did help. They are withdrawing and calling for peace now as they are more worried about their loss. They understood they are fighting a losing battle and they misjudged their target. These abusers with a moral mask were shattered and they were made come to terms by turning the tables on them.

 

I wish Dara Shukoh had learnt battle skills along with those what he was praised for. Had he done so, India would have got a better emperor than Aurangzeb. But it did not turn out that way. That is history now. If we don't learn form history, it keeps repeating all over. We need to keep sharpening our fighting skills to survive. Just being moral won’t help.

The Satanic world of Narcissists

Definition

Google searches define a narcissist as a person who is self-centered, lies easily to put others in pain, lacks empathy and emotionally blackmail others regularly. They are well known for manipulating the facts to their advantage. They do not accept any accountability for themselves and pass on the entire blame to the other party. More the pain their victims go through, higher the satisfaction the narcissist gets. They just suck the spirit out of their victims by causing fear and guilt in them.

 

Tactics they employ

One of the major methods they employ is gaslighting. An example of this would be a narcissist doing something abusive and then denying it happened. Narcissist may also convince their victims that they're too sensitive or think too much to instill self-doubt in them.

 

They are also aided with flying monkeys. These flying monkeys are the people who take side of the narcissists. They do not give a hearing to the other party and jump into argument with the victim to support the objective of the narcissist. This is the trick narcissists employ to confuse the victims that their thinking is wrong and make them yield.

 

Narcissist set a trap creating anger in the victims by getting into arguments with them, make their victims lose emotional control and say unwanted things and use it later for their advantage. They instill guilt in their victims and play it repeatedly to emotionally crush the souls of their victims.

 

Identification and Defense

The irony is it is not easy to spot a narcissist. They look normal and fair people to the outside world. Only after someone goes through the emotional abuse by the narcissist, he/she can identify him or her. Any of your efforts to change him/her or make him aware of his/her personality disorder will only make things worse. Narcissists never admit any of their mistakes and skillfully pass it to the other party.

 

Though you spotted a narcissist after going through the emotional abuse, you need to quickly set-up boundaries as a defense, both physical and emotional. You should take care not to divulge with any sensitive information with them. Avoid arguments with them and don't try to explain. Just remain calm and emotionally stable to break their game. Even when they change their tactics, you should not fall for them. Most importantly, you should not lose self-confidence in you and move on your life leaving them behind.

 

Summary

It would be painful if the narcissist is a close family member but there is not much option left for you. They are unlikely to change for their life. And for those narcissists outside of your family, you should know that they exist, become aware of their characteristics and intentions as early as possible, and get out of their way at the first instance. You should be nice to everyone but should not give them opportunity to abuse. If it becomes unavoidable, you should use their own tactics on them and make them leave you.

 

This quote summarizes it in a sentence:

Love everybody but never sell your sword

ದೇಹದ ಗುಡಿಯ ನೋಡಿರಣ್ಣ

ಕನಕದಾಸರ ರಚನೆ ಹೀಗಿದೆ:

"ಏಸು ಕಾಯಂಗಳ ಕಳೆದು

ಎಂಬತ್ನಾಲ್ಕು ಲಕ್ಷ ಜೀವರಾಶಿಯನ್ನು

ದಾಟಿ ಬಂದ ಈ ಶರೀರ ...

ದಾಸನಾಗು, ವಿಶೇಷನಾಗು"

ಆಧುನಿಕ ವಿಕಾಸ ವಿಜ್ಞಾನ (Evolutionary Science) ಕೂಡ ಇದನ್ನೇ ಹೇಳುವುದು. ಜಲಚರಗಳಿಂದ, ಉಭಯವಾಸಿ, ಪಕ್ಷಿಗಳು, ಪ್ರಾಣಿಗಳು, ಸಸ್ತನಿಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಅವು ಮಾರ್ಪಾಡಾಗಿ ಮಾನವ ವಿಕಾಸ ಹೊಂದಿದ್ದು. ನಮ್ಮ ವಿಷ್ಣು ಪುರಾಣ ಕೂಡ ಅದನ್ನೇ ಹೇಳುತ್ತದೆ. ವಿಷ್ಣುವಿನ ದಶಾವತಾರ ಆರಂಭ ಆಗುವುದು "ಮತ್ಸ್ಯಾವತಾರ" ದಿಂದ. ನಂತರ ಕೂರ್ಮಾವತಾರ. ಹೀಗೆ ಕೊನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ "ಕೃಷ್ಣ" ಬರುತ್ತಾನೆ.

ಮಾನವನ ದೇಹದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಸಂಕೀರ್ಣ ನರಮಂಡಲ, ಹೊಸ ವಿಷಯಗಳನ್ನು ಗ್ರಹಿಸಬಲ್ಲ ಮೆದುಳು ಮತ್ತು ಅಗತ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ತಕ್ಕಂತೆ ಮಾರ್ಪಾಡಾದ ಅಂಗಾಂಗಗಳು, ಪಂಚೇಂದ್ರಿಯಗಳು ಬೇರೆ ಯಾವುದೇ ಪ್ರಾಣಿ-ಪಕ್ಷಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅಭಿವೃದ್ಧಿ ಹೊಂದಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಮಾನವ ಬೇರೆ ಜೀವ ಸಂಕುಲಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಅನುಭವಗಳನ್ನು ಹೊಂದುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಮನುಷ್ಯನ ಮೆದುಳು ಪ್ರಪಂಚವನ್ನು ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದರ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ತನ್ನನ್ನು ಕೂಡ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ.

ದೇಹ ಮತ್ತು ಮನಸ್ಸು ಬೇರೆ ಬೇರೆಯಲ್ಲ. ದೇಹದ ಅಭಿವೃದ್ಧಿ ಹೊಂದಿದ ಭಾಗವೇ ಮನಸ್ಸು. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ನೋಡಿ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಭಾರವಾದಾಗ ದೇಹ ನಿಶ್ಚಲವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಮತ್ತು ದೇಹ ರೋಗದಿಂದ ಬಳಲಿದಾಗ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಮಂಕಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ದೇಹ ಮತ್ತು ಮನಸ್ಸು ಒಂದರೊಂದಿಗೆ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ಬೆಸೆದುಕೊಂಡಿವೆ. ಆರೋಗ್ಯವಂತ ಮನಸ್ಸು, ದೇಹವನ್ನು ಆರೋಗ್ಯವಾಗಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತದೆ. ಅರೋಗ್ಯವಂತ ದೇಹ, ಮನಸ್ಸು ಹೊಸ ಅನುಭವಗಳನ್ನು ಹೊಂದಲು ಅನುವು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಡುತ್ತದೆ. ದೇಹ ಅರ್ಥವಾದರೆ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಕೂಡ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗುತ್ತಾ ಹೋಗುತ್ತದೆ.

ದೇಹವನ್ನು ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು, ದಂಡಿಸಲು ಮತ್ತು ಅದರಿಂದ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಹೊಸ ಪ್ರಪಂಚಕ್ಕೆ ತೆರೆದೆಕೊಳ್ಳುವಂತೆ ಮಾಡಲು ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೇ ಹಠ ಯೋಗ, ಯೋಗಾಸನಗಳು. ಸಾಧು, ಸಂತರು ಅಧ್ಯಾತ್ಮ ಸಾಧನೆಗೆ ತೊಡಗಿದ್ದೆ ದೇಹವನ್ನು ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದರ ಮೂಲಕ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಂತ ಶಿಶುನಾಳ ಶರೀಫರು ಹಾಡಿದ್ದು:

"ಗುಡಿಯ ನೋಡಿರಣ್ಣ 

ದೇಹದ ಗುಡಿಯ ನೋಡಿರಣ್ಣ,

ಗುಡಿಯ ನೋಡಿರಿದು

ಪೊಡವಿಗೆ ಒಡೆಯನು,

ಅಡಗಿಕೊಂಡು

ಕಡುಬೆಡಗಿನಲಿರುತಿಹ,

ಗುಡಿಯ ನೋಡಿರಣ್ಣ

ದೇಹದ ಗುಡಿಯ ನೋಡಿರಣ್ಣ" 

ಈ ಹಾಡು ನನಗೆ ಇನ್ನೂ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಿಲ್ಲ. ಅರ್ಥ ಆದ ದಿನ, ನನ್ನ ಜೀವನವು ಮುಗಿದಿರುತ್ತದೆ ಎನ್ನುವ ಅರಿವು ನನಗಿದೆ.

ಗಂಡನ ಮನೆಯಲಿ ಮಾರಿ ಮುತ್ತು, ತವರು ಮನೆಯಲಿ ಸ್ವಾತಿ ಮುತ್ತು

ಹಾಗೆ ಕೆಲವು ಹೆಂಡತಿಯರಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ (ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಅಲ್ಲ). ಅವರಿಗೆ ತವರು ಮನೆ ಪ್ರೇಮಲೋಕ. ಗಂಡನ ಮನೆ ರಣರಂಗ. ಅವರಿಗೆ ತಮ್ಮ ತಂದೆ ಎಂದರೆ ಹೀರೋ. ಗಂಡ ಎಂದರೆ ಶುದ್ಧ ಶನಿ. ಗಂಡನ ಮನೆಯವರೆಲ್ಲ ಸೋಂಭೇರಿಗಳು. ತವರು ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿರುವ ತಮ್ಮಂದಿರು ಎಷ್ಟೋ ವರ್ಷ ಖಾಲಿ ಅಡ್ಡಾಡಿದರೂ, ಅವರಿಗಿನ್ನೂ ಸಮಯ ಬಂದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ ಅಷ್ಟೇ. ಅವರ ತಾಯಿ ಕರುಣಾಮಯಿ. ಆದರೆ ಅತ್ತೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಜಗತ್ತಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲೂ ಇಲ್ಲದ ಕ್ರೂರಿ.

ಹಾಲುಂಡ ತವರಿಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಅವರಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲೂ ಇಲ್ಲದ ಮಮಕಾರ. ಗಂಡನ ಮನೆಯವರೆದ್ದೆಲ್ಲ  ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಹಾಹಾಕಾರ. ತಮ್ಮ ಸೋದರ-ಸೋದರಿಯರು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಸೂಸುವ ಚಂದನೆಯ ಗಿಳಿಗಳು. ಗಂಡನ ಸೋದರ-ಸೋದರಿಯರು ಕಾ-ಕಾ ಎಂದು ಅರಚುವ ಕಾಗೆಗಳು.

ತವರು ಮನೆಯ ಅಸ್ತಿ ತಮ್ಮಂದಿರಿಗೆ ಇರಲಿ ಎನ್ನುವ ಔದಾರ್ಯತೆ. ಗಂಡನ ಮನೆಯ ಆಸ್ತಿಯೋ? ಕಾನೂನು-ಕೋರ್ಟ್ ಎಂದು ವೀರಾವೇಶ ತೋರುವ ಝಾನ್ಸಿ ರಾಣಿ ಲಕ್ಷ್ಮೀಬಾಯಿಯರು. ತಮ್ಮ ತಂದೆ ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾತನಾಡಿದನೋ, ಅದು ಏನೋ ಬಾಯಿ ತಪ್ಪಿನಿಂದ ಬಂದ ಮಾತು ಅಷ್ಟೇ. ಅದೇ ಗಂಡ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದನೋ, ಜೈಲಿಗೆ ಕಳಿಸದೆ ಹಾಗೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ಬುದ್ಧಿ ಬರದು ಎನ್ನುವ ಕ್ರೋಧ. ತಮ್ಮ ತಮ್ಮಂದಿರು ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದರೋ, ಅದು ಆವೇಶ ಅಷ್ಟೇ. ಅದನ್ನು ಬೇಗ ಮರೆತಷ್ಟು ವಾಸಿ. ಅದೇ ಗಂಡನ ಮನೆಯವರು ಮಾಡಿದರೆ, ಅವರನ್ನು ಆಗಿಂದಾಗಲೇ ಮನೆಯಿಂದ ಆಚೆ ತಳ್ಳಿ ಬಿಡಬೇಕು.

ತಾವೇ ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾತನಾಡಿದರೆ, ಅದನ್ನು ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ವಾಸಿ. ಇಲ್ಲವೆಂದರೆ ಎಷ್ಟು ಸಲ ಅದೇ ಮಾತು ಆಡುವಿರಿ ಎಂದು ಗಂಡನ ಮೇಲೆ ಅಪವಾದ ಹೊರಿಸುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಅದೇ ಗಂಡ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದನೋ, ಅವನನ್ನು ಚುಚ್ಚಿ, ಚುಚ್ಚಿ ಹುಚ್ಚನನ್ನಾಗಿ ಮಾಡದಿದ್ದರೆ ಕೇಳಿ.

ಒಂದೇ ನಾಣ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಎರಡು ಮುಖವಿದ್ದ ಹಾಗೆ ಹೆಂಡತಿಯರಿಗೆ ಕೂಡ ಎರಡು ಮುಖ ಉಂಟು. ಕೆಲವರಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಮುಖಗಳ ನಡುವೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ ಇರದಿದ್ದರೆ, ಇನ್ನು ಕೆಲವರು ಮಾತ್ರ ಗಂಡನ ಮನೆಯಲಿ ಮಾರಿ ಮುತ್ತು, ತವರು ಮನೆಯಲಿ ಸ್ವಾತಿ ಮುತ್ತು.