Risks and Rewards are not symmetrical

We often hear people say, “There is no payoff without a risk”. It is commonsense. But they further go on to say, “Higher the risk, higher the reward”. Now they tend to equate both risks and rewards. They say you must take higher risks and if you are lucky, you are going to do big in life. Here is where I disagree. Let me explain.

 

Dumb luck won’t reduce risk

Have you heard of people who died taking selfies at dangerous places? They seem to have misjudged the risks and rewards. On the similar line, let us do a thought experiment which all of us can easily understand. Put a bullet randomly in one of the six slots of a revolver and point it to your head and pull the trigger. If nothing happened, bravo, you were lucky. If you want to ride on that luck and take another chance, you also need to realize that your luck would reduce in the next chance, and you can’t be lucky more than five times in a row. Though this was an extreme example, people tend to take chances without understanding the risks they are facing.

 

Risks are difficult to know and quantify in advance

Look at any advertisement, pamphlet or a sales pitch, benefits are written in colorful, bold, and large fonts. How about risks? They are written in fine print. Even if you tried to read it, it is written in a language only lawyers can understand. All those salesmen want you to just ignore the risks, take a leap of faith and just believe what they are saying.

Many a times, it is hard to know what risks we are facing. If we understand the risks by experience or through research, it is difficult to quantify them. Let us say you drive a car. The potential risk is you can meet with an accident. But before the accident happens, you can’t estimate the damage. So, the insurance you have may or may not cover for all expenses. All our risk management exercises are based on estimates only. You will never know the damage beforehand.

 

What the wise say and do?

Warren Buffett, the legendary investor, has a favorite rule for investing. It is “Never lose the money”. His second favorite rule is, “Don’t forget the first rule”. If you don’t want to lose money, you need to understand all the ways and means you would lose money and block or manage each of them. What he meant was, you need to understand the risks well before you plan for an investment. That is more important than understanding the rewards. It is not easy task. But if you want to earn consistent rewards, you will have to manage your risks well.

 

Risks and Rewards are asymmetrical

A lottery ticket you bought for a few rupees can win you an unproportionate sum. Similarly, a small reward of picking coins in front of a steam roller can expose you to a disproportionate risk of losing your life. Risk and reward are not symmetrical in many (or most) cases. As you gain experience and improve your understanding of risks and rewards, you will notice two different combinations of risk-reward payoff. There are high risk, low reward situations. Similarly, there are low risk and high reward scenarios as well. Avoiding high risk and low reward bets is a no brainer. But when your judgment has improved and a low risk - high reward situation presents to you itself (they are difficult to find if you go on searching for them), you want to increase your bets on them. You are likely to receive a huge pay-off from it. They won’t come often but you want to wait for them and play when odds are not against you. Such opportunities do come routinely in all asset classes (Equity, Debt, Commodities and Real Estate). Not only in investments, but such scenario would also present themselves in other walks of life too. All you want to do in the meantime is improving your judgement of assessing the risks and rewards.

 

My journey

I had to lose lots of money, go through emotional pain, and then study various literature on risk to learn the lesson. But I have recovered my losses and doing better now as I am reaching the verge of financial freedom. What helped me the most were teachings of Buffett-Munger duo, podcast of Naval Ravikant and the books of Daniel Kahneman and Nassim Taleb. Learning about risks is counter intuitive, it won’t come easily like understanding of rewards. But without it, forget growing your capital, you are likely to lose it. Don’t be neither a pessimist or optimist, remove all those lenses and see if you can understand the risks as good as rewards of the given situation. If you don’t get a clear picture, it is better let go of the opportunity and continue honing your judgement through extensive reading, deep dive through of various case studies and taking small bets to validate your learning. When you are ready, it will be only a matter of time for the opportunities to present themselves. And the byproduct of better judgement, patience, would also keep you sane and helps you hang on till rewards materialize.

Further Reading, Listening and Watching:

1. Books by Nassim Taleb: Fooled by Randomness, Black Swan and Skin in the Game

2. Books by Daneil Kahneman: Thinking Fast and Slow, Noise

3. Naval Ravikant's podcast: How to Get Rich

4. Videos of Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger

Movie Review: Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom

ಭೂತಾನ್ ದೇಶದ ರಾಜಧಾನಿಯಾದ ಥಿಂಫು ವಿನಲ್ಲಿ ವಾಸಿಸುವ ಒಬ್ಬ ಯುವಕ. ಆಗ ತಾನೇ ಶಿಕ್ಷಕ ತರಬೇತಿಯನ್ನು ಮುಗಿಸಿರುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಆದರೆ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಹಾಡುಗಾರನಾಗುವ ಮತ್ತು ಅದನ್ನೇ ವೃತ್ತಿಯಾಗಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಆಸ್ಟ್ರೇಲಿಯಾ ಗೆ ಹೋಗುವ ಆಸೆ. ಅವನ ಇಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೆ ವಿರುದ್ಧವಾಗಿ ಅವನಿಗೆ 'ಲುನಾನಾ' ಎನ್ನುವ ಹಿಮಾಲಯ ಪರ್ವತ ಶ್ರೇಣಿಯ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯೊಂದಕ್ಕೆ ಶಿಕ್ಷಕನಾಗಿ ಹೋಗುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೇಳಲಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಅವನು ಒಲ್ಲದ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಿಂದಲೇ ಹೊರಡುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಬಸ್ ಪ್ರಯಾಣ ಮುಗಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಕಾಲು ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಎರಡು ದಿನದ ಹಾದಿ ಆ ಹಳ್ಳಿಗೆ. ಅವನಿಗೆ ಸಹಾಯವಾಗಲೆಂದು ಇಬ್ಬರು ಆ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ಜೊತೆಗಾರರು. ಪ್ರಯಾಸ ಪಟ್ಟು ಆಧುನಿಕ ಸೌಲಭ್ಯಗಳು ಯಾವೂ ಇಲ್ಲದ ಆ ಹಳ್ಳಿಗೆ ಅವನು ತಲುಪುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಆ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ಶಾಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಭೋದಿಸಲು ಕಪ್ಪು ಹಲಗೆ ಕೂಡ ಇರದದ್ದು ನೋಡಿ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಭ್ರಮ ನಿರಸನ ಆಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಆದರೆ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಸ್ವಾಗತ ಕೋರಲು ಹಳ್ಳಿಯವರೆಲ್ಲ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಸೇರಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಆ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ರಮ್ಯ ರಮಣೀಯ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯ ಅಕ್ಷರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ವರ್ಣಿಸಲು ಅಸಾಧ್ಯ. ಆದರೆ ಅವ್ಯಾವು ಅವನ ಮೇಲೆ ಪ್ರಭಾವ ಬೀರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಅವನು ಆದಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ವಾಪಸ್ಸು ಹೊರಡಲು ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸುತ್ತಾನೆ.

ಮರುದಿನ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಪುಟಾಣಿ ವಿದ್ಯಾರ್ಥಿಯೊಬ್ಬಳು ಬಂದು ಎಬ್ಬಿಸುತ್ತಾಳೆ. ಅಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪೇ ಜನ ವಿದ್ಯಾರ್ಥಿಗಳ ಕಲಿಕಾ ಆಸಕ್ತಿಯನ್ನು ಕಂಡು ಅವನಿಗೆ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಆಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಇರುವಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ಪ್ರಾಮಾಣಿಕ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡುವ ನಿರ್ಧಾರ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಅಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಜನ ಅವನನ್ನು ತಮ್ಮ ಉದ್ಧಾರಕ್ಕೆಂದೇ ಬಂದಿರುವ ಮನುಷ್ಯ ಎಂದು ನೋಡುವುದು ಅವನ ಗಮನಕ್ಕೆ ಬರುತ್ತದೆ. ಅಡಿಗೆಗೆ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಹೊತ್ತಿಸಲು ಒಣಗಿದ ಸೆಗಣಿ ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಅಲೆಯುವ ಅವನಿಗೆ ತೊಂದರೆಯಾಗದಂತೆ ಮಾಡಲು ಒಂದು ಯಾಕ್ (ಹಿಮಾಲಯ ಪ್ರದೇಶದ ಎಮ್ಮೆ) ತಂದು ಶಾಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಟ್ಟುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಇದ್ದಿಲನ್ನು ಶಾಲೆಯ ಒಂದು ಗೋಡೆಗೆ ಬಳಿದು ಕಪ್ಪು ಹಲಗೆಯನ್ನಾಗಿ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾನೆ ಚಿತ್ರ ನಾಯಕ. ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರಿಗೆ ಪತ್ರ ಬರೆದು ಶಾಲೆಗೇ ಬೇಕಾದ ಕಲಿಕಾ ಸಾಮಗ್ರಿಯನ್ನು ತರಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಕಲಿಕೆ ಭರದಿಂದ ಸಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಇತ್ತ ನಾಯಕನಿಗೆ ಒಬ್ಬ ಹಾಡುಗಾರ್ತಿಯ ಪರಿಚಯ ಆಗುತ್ತದೆ. (ಚಿತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ನಾಯಕಿಯು ಕೂಡ ಬೇಕಲ್ಲವೇ?). ಅವಳು ಅವನಿಗೆ ತನ್ನ ಹಾಡು ಕಲಿಸುತ್ತ ನಾಯಕನಿಗೆ ಆ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ವಾಸ ಬರೀ ಸಹನೀಯ ಅಷ್ಟೇ ಇಲ್ಲ, ಇಷ್ಟ ಕೂಡ ಆಗುವಂತೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾಳೆ.

ಕೆಲ ತಿಂಗಳು ಕಳೆದು ಚಳಿಗಾಲ ಆರಂಭ. ಮಂಜು ಬಿದ್ದು ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ದಾರಿ ಮುಚ್ಚಿ ಹೋಗುವ ಸಮಯ ಬಂದು ಬಿಡುತ್ತದೆ. ನಾಯಕ ತನ್ನ ಊರಿಗೆ ಮರಳಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಬೇಸಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮರಳುವಂತೆ ಊರಿನವರೆಲ್ಲ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಕೋರಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾರೆ. ನಾಯಕಿ ಕೂಡ ಭಾರವಾದ ಹೃದಯದಿಂದ ಅವನಿಗೆ ವಿದಾಯ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಾಳೆ. ಆದರೆ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲೇ ಆಸ್ಟ್ರೇಲಿಯಾ ದೇಶದ ವೀಸಾ ಕೈ ಸೇರಿರುತ್ತದೆ.

ಮುಂದಿನ ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾಯಕ ಆಸ್ಟ್ರೇಲಿಯಾ ದೇಶದ ರೆಸ್ಟೋರೆಂಟ್ ಒಂದರಲ್ಲಿ ತನ್ನ ಗಿಟಾರ್ ಬಾರಿಸುತ್ತ ಹಾಡುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಆದರೆ ಅಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಅವನ ಮೇಲೆ ಗಮನವೇ ಇರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ನಾಯಕ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಹಾಡು ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ ಲುನಾನಾ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಲಿತಿದ್ದ ಹಾಡು ಹಾಡಲು ಆರಂಭಿಸುತ್ತಾನೆ.

ಭೂತಾನ್ ದೇಶದ ಈ ಚಿತ್ರ ಅಂತರರಾಷ್ಟ್ರೀಯ ಮಟ್ಟದ ಗಮನ ಸೆಳೆದಿದೆ. ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ ಸೊಬಗೇ ಮೈ  ತಳೆದಂತಿರುವ ಆ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ನಿಸರ್ಗ ಸಂಪತ್ತು ಮತ್ತು 'ಶಿಕ್ಷಕ ಭವಿಷ್ಯ ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸುತ್ತಾನೆ' ಎನ್ನುವ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ ಗಮನ ಸೆಳೆಯುತ್ತವೆ.

(Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom is avialable on Amazon Prime)

How credentials got swapped between Mysore and Bangalore?

How Bangalore overtook Mysore and became a place of action?

Bangalore is a political hub. It is also a center of trade, commerce, and industrial activities. It provides employment to millions of people. And the people living here find Mysore as their favorite getaway to spend their weekends and summer vacations. A century ago, things were exactly opposite, vice versa. Here is my perspective of what and how it happened.

Bangalore was just a summer getaway

From 16th to 19th centuries, Mysore province was ruled by The Wadiyar’s. Mysore was where they lived and the town had remained the center of plotical, commercial and cultural activities. When the Wadiyar family wanted to escape summer heat, they would go to the village of Bangalore where they had built a palace with a 500 acres of plush green campus around it. It is at the heart of today's Bangalore. Why did they chose Bangalore? Because of its high altitude, numerous lakes and consistent rain fall, Bangalore was a cool and comfortable place to spend the summer. Tipu Sultan who had ruled Mysore for a brief period too had built a summer palace for himself in Bangalore. It is situated near KR market. Bangalore remained that way for centuries. Mysore was the center of political action and Bangalore, a place to rest. A town, rather a sleepy village, buillt by Kempegouda in the 15th centrury continued to remain so for a long time.

First spark of change and Industrial revolution

In the 19th century when The British came into widespread action, they made cool Bangalore their home. That was the first spark of change. They built a red-painted building for administration (today’s High Court building). They had a Cantonment nearby housing their army. They have left numerous traces of influences in the development of Bangalore. Sir Mark Cubbon for the Cubbon Park, Richard Sankey for Sankey Tank, Lord Mayo for the Mayo Hall and so on.

After independence, leaders of independent India wanted to rule from the same premises The British operated from. That made Bangalore the political power center. And it gained an edge over the role Mysore had played till then. Then it was Industrial revolution that pushed Bangalore to the lead position. Many PSU’s like HAL, ISRO, NAL, ITI, BHEL, NGEF, HMT, BEML found a place in Bangalore turning it into a industrial hub and attracted huge workforce in the form of migrant population. This growing population caused service industry expansion. Many schools, colleges, hospitals, hotels got built in a hurry further expanding the horizon and attractiveness of Bangalore. This large population needed entertainment. Two stadiums got built to promote sports. During the same time, Kannada Film Industry (aka Sandalwood) took roots in Bangalore. During all these years, Mysore’s growth was tepid, and it remained a slow town in comparison.

Silicon Valley of India

Factors driving growth of Bangalore were all insignificant in comparison to what was to come later. Availability of engineering talent made Bangalore IT hub, Silicon Valley of India. Bangalore’s geography started busting at seams and it had to expand in all directions dissolving many villages in it and became "Brihat Bengaluru". And by then, there was no comparison between Bangalore and Mysore. Bangalore was many times bigger already. Higher income residents of Bangalore would go all around for their vacations and Mysore got turned into a tourist spot and it’s political and economic prominence was to be slowly forgotten. Initially what was Mysore’s loss became Bangalore’s gain but not anymore as people from Mysore found employment in Bangalore and travelers from Bangalore boosted the economy of Mysore. Table was turned around completely and the credentials of Bangalore being a vacation spot during the times of Wadiyar’s got swapped with Mysore of current times. This transformation took multiple decades to happen.

History rhymes

If you learn history without emotions, you will understand this is how history has always worked. Place of attraction can’t remain the same. Where is Alexander’s Macedonia now? Rome is no more a happening place. So was the capital of mighty Vijayanagara kingdom of South India. It gave way to the rise of Mysore province. And Bangalore stole it from Mysore. Can Bangalore also lose its importance in future? Why not? But not in a hurry. These transformations take many decades to happen. Until then you and I have to cope with the traffic here.

Next transformation would be decentralization

I think the next transformation would not make one place the center of power, but it would rather be decentralized. Internet is changing the way we live and reducing geographical importance. For example, you don’t have to go to a big town for higher education, online universities are coming up fast. They would become efficient too in near future. You don’t have to visit a mall but can order a new gadget on Amazon and get it delivered to any corner of the country. We don’t visit insurance office for renewal anymore, right? Government complexes can slowly be replaced with offices on the cloud. These things will reduce the concentration of political power and trade and turn nation into a decentralized economy.

You can say there are many things which can’t be moved to internet or other physical places. I agree with you. To visit Chamundi hills or Mysore palace, you still have to go to Mysore. But what about Mysore Silk, Mysore Pak, and Mysore Sandal Soap? They can be manufactured outside Mysore as well. Similarly, work from home can send back many IT employees from Bangalore to their hometowns. Manufacturing industry can be relocated away from Bangalore and Airports can be built in other towns as well. That would take the shine away from Bangalore. Bangalore too would reach its peak in the coming years and then slide away. That could be fifty or hundred years away. But it is more likely to happen later than not happen at all.

We evolved and continue to evolve. Nothing is cast in stone.

Mysore Palace and Vidhana Soudha in Bangalore (Picture Credit: Wikipedia)

ಬದುಕೇ ಹಸಿರು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಬೆರೆತಾಗ

ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನ ಆನಂದ್ ರಾವ್ ಸರ್ಕಲ್ ಗೆ ನಾನು ವರ್ಷಕ್ಕೆ ನಾಲ್ಕೈದು ಬಾರಿಯಾದರೂ ಬರುತ್ತೇನೆ. ಕಳೆದ ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತು ವರುಷಗಳಿಂದ ಬರುತ್ತಲೇ ಇದ್ದೇನೆ. ಇಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೇ ನಾನು ಊರಿಗೆ ಹೊರಡುವ ಬಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಏರುವುದು. ಇಲ್ಲಿಯ ಅನುಭವದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಹಿಂದೆ 'ಮೆಜೆಸ್ಟಿಕ್ ಎಂಬ ಮಾಯಾವಿ ಲೋಕ' ಎನ್ನುವ ಕಿರು ಲೇಖನ ಬರೆದಿದ್ದೆ. ಮತ್ತೆ ಇಂದು ಬರೆಯದೆ ಇರುವುದು ಆಗುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.

ಎರಡು ದಶಕಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಇದ್ದ ಜನ ಜಂಗುಳಿ ಈಗಲೂ ಇದೆ. ಆದರೆ ಹಲವಾರು ರಸ್ತೆಗಳು ಏಖ ಮುಖವಾಗಿ ಬದಲಾಗಿವೆ. ಮಳೆಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಿಂದೆ ರಸ್ತೆಗಳು ಕೆಸರಿನ ಕೊಚ್ಛೆಯಾದಂತೆ ಈಗ ಆಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಈಗ ಅವು ಕಾಂಕ್ರೀಟ್ ರಸ್ತೆಗಳು. ಹತ್ತು ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೆ ಒಂದರಂತೆ ಇದ್ದೆ ಚಿತ್ರ ಮಂದಿರಗಳು ಈಗ ಉಳಿದಿಲ್ಲ. ಹಲವಾರು ಶಾಪಿಂಗ್ ಕಾಂಪ್ಲೆಕ್ಸ್ ಆಗಿ ಬದಲಾಗಿವೆ. ಬದಲಾಗಿದ್ದು ನಾವು. ಮೆಜೆಸ್ಟಿಕ್ ಅನ್ನು ಬದಲು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು ನಾವು. ಆದರೂ ಮೆಜೆಸ್ಟಿಕ್ ಬದಲಾಯಿಸಿದೆ ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿಕೊಂಡು ಓಡಾಡುತ್ತೇವೆ.

ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಸ್ ಏರಲು ಈ ದಿನ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಇಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ನಾನು ಬಂದಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಹೊಸದಾಗಿ ಎನ್ನುವಂತೆ ಫುಟ್ ಪಾತ್  ನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬ ಲೌಡ್ ಸ್ಪೀಕರ್ ಇಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡು ಹಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾನೆ.

"ಬದುಕೇ ಹಸಿರು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಬೆರೆತಾಗ,

ವಿಷದ ಮುಳ್ಳಂತೆ ಸೇಡು ಸಿಡಿದಾಗ"

ಅದು ಅಣ್ಣಾವ್ರು 'ನಂಜುಂಡಿ ಕಲ್ಯಾಣ' ಚಿತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ಹಾಡಿದ ಹಾಡು. ಹಳೆಯ ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಬದುಕುವುದು ನಾನೊಬ್ಬನೇ ಅಲ್ಲ ಎನ್ನುವುದು ಅರಿವಾಯಿತು. ಹಾಡುಗಾರನನ್ನೇ ದಿಟ್ಟಿಸಿ ನೋಡಿದೆ. ಅವನು ಕಣ್ಣು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ. ನಿರಾಳವಾಗಿ ಹತ್ತಿರದ ಉಡುಪಿ ಹೋಟೆಲ್ ಗೆ ಎರಡು ಇಡ್ಲಿ ತಿನ್ನಲು ಸೇರಿದೆ. ಹೊರಗೆ ಬರುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಡು ಬದಲಾಗಿತ್ತು.

"ತ್ಯಾಗಕ್ಕೆ ಫಲವುಂಟು,

ನಿನಗೊಂದು ಬೆಲೆಯುಂಟು"

'ಕರ್ಣ' ಚಿತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಷ್ಣುವರ್ಧನ್ ಅವರು ಪಟ್ಟ ನೋವಿಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಸಂಕಟದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಡುಗಾರ ಹಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ. ಸಂತೋಷದ ಹಾಡು ಬೇಸರವಾಗುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಮುಂಚೆ 175 ಬಾರಿ ಕೇಳಬಹುದು ಆದರೆ ನೋವಿನ ಹಾಡು 850 ಕ್ಕೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಬಾರಿ ಕೇಳಬಹುದು ಎಂದು ಓದಿದ್ದು ನೆನಪಾಯಿತು. ೮೦ ರ ದಶಕದ ಹಾಡುಗಳು, ಚಿತ್ರಗಳೇ ಹಾಗಿದ್ದವು. ರೀತಿ, ನೀತಿ, ಸಮಾಜ ಪ್ರಜ್ಞೆಗಳನ್ನು ಎತ್ತಿ ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು. ಆದರೆ ಕಾಲ ಬದಲಾಗದೆ ಇರುತ್ತದೆಯೇ? 'ಅಪ್ಪ ಲೂಸಾ, ಅಮ್ಮ ಲೂಸಾ?' ಎನ್ನುವ ಹಾಡು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಕೇಳದೆ ಇರುವುದು ಪುಣ್ಯ ಎಂದುಕೊಂಡೆ. ಇಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೂ ಅಂತಹ ಹಾಡು ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡುವವರು ಬ್ರಿಗೇಡ್ ರಸ್ತೆಯ ಪಬ್ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ, ಊರಾಚೆಯ ರೆಸಾರ್ಟ್ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನ ಶ್ರೀಮಂತರು ಮೆಜೆಸ್ಟಿಕ್ ಗೆ ಬರುವುದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ತಮ್ಮ ಐಷಾರಾಮಿ ಕಾರುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ರಿಂಗ್ ರೋಡ್ ಬಳಸಿ ಊರ ಹೊರಗೆ ತಲುಪಿ ಬಿಡುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಇಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಬರುವವರು ಮಧ್ಯಮ ಮತ್ತು ಬಡ ಜನರು ಮಾತ್ರ. ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಕೋರಮಂಗಲ, ವೈಟ್ ಫೀಲ್ಡ್ ಪ್ರದೇಶಗಳ ಬೆಲೆ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಹಾಗೆ ನೋಡಿದರೆ ಇಂದಿಗೆ ಮೆಜೆಸ್ಟಿಕ್  ಸಂಪರ್ಕ ಕೇಂದ್ರ ಮಾತ್ರ. ಆರ್ಥಿಕ ವ್ಯವಸ್ಥೆ ಈ ಪ್ರದೇಶ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ದೂರ ಹೋಗಿ ಬಹಳ ಸಮಯವೇ ಕಳೆದಿದೆ. ಆದರೆ ಬಡ ಮತ್ತು ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದವರೇ ಚಲನ ಚಿತ್ರಗಳನ್ನು ಗೆಲ್ಲಿಸುವುದು. ಅಣ್ಣಾವ್ರು ಕಾಲದ 'ನಾಲ್ಕಾಣೆ ಪ್ರಭು' ಇಂದು ನೂರಿನ್ನೂರು ಖರ್ಚು ಮಾಡುವ ದೊರೆ. ಈ ಜನರೇ ಚುನಾವಣೆಗಳ ಭವಿಷ್ಯ ಕೂಡ ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸುವುದು.

ಸುತ್ತಲಿನ ಜನರನ್ನು ಗಮನಿಸಲು ತೊಡಗಿದೆ. ಅವರೆಲ್ಲ ತಮ್ಮ ತಮ್ಮ ಲೋಕದಲ್ಲೇ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದರು. ಜಮಖಂಡಿ, ಗಂಗಾವತಿ, ಬೈಲಹೊಂಗಲ, ಊರು ಯಾವುದಾದರೇನಂತೆ?  ಎಲ್ಲ ಊರುಗಳಿಗೂ ಇಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಬಸ್ ಉಂಟು. VRL , SRS , ಸುಗಮ ಬಸ್ ಗಳು ಆರಂಭವಾಗುವುದು ಇಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೇ. ಇಡೀ ಕರ್ನಾಟಕದ ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದ ಜನರನ್ನು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಸಣ್ಣ ಸ್ಥಳದಲ್ಲೇ ಒಟ್ಟಾಗಿ ನೋಡಬಹುದು.

ಹಾಡು ಮತ್ತೆ ಬದಲಾಯಿತು.

"ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತು ಹೋದ ಮೇಲೆ,

ಹನಿಯೊಂದು ಜಾರಿದೆ

ಹೇಳುವುದು ಏನೋ ಉಳಿದು ಹೋಗಿದೆ

ಹೇಳಲಿ ಹೇಗೆ ತಿಳಿಯದಾಗಿದೆ"

ಮನುಷ್ಯ ಎಷ್ಟು ನೋವನ್ನು ಬೇಕಾದರೂ ಸಹಿಸಿಯಾನು ಆದರೆ ಹೇಳುವುದನ್ನು ಹೇಳದೆ ಹೋಗಲಾರ. ಅದ್ಭುತ ಹಾಡುಗಳು, ಸಂಗೀತ, ಕಥೆ, ಕಾದಂಬರಿ ಗಳು ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದು ಈ ಭಾವದಿಂದಲೇ. ಹೇಳಬೇಕಾದ್ದು ಹೇಳುವುದು ಆಗದೆ ಹೋದರೆ ಮನುಷ್ಯ ಕಥೆ ಕಟ್ಟುತ್ತಾನೆ. ನಾಟಕ ಹೂಡುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೇ ಅವನ ಸಮಸ್ಯೆಗಳ ಆರಂಭ.

ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, ನಾನು ಹೊರಡುವ ಬಸ್ ಬಂದಾಗಿದೆ. ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಿಗೋಣ. ಶುಭ ರಾತ್ರಿ!

Remembering my mother who is no more

I went through many Facebook posts and Whatsapp status of friends with photos of their mothers  on the occasion of Mother's day. I not only resonate with them for their love to their mothers, but I also regret my loss. Coincidentally it was the month of May which took my mother away three years ago.

 

I was not the only child to my mother. She had five of them. I was not the eldest who was her favorite. I was not the youngest with whom she had highest tolerance. Naturally her focus and time had to be rationed among her children. Some of my upbringing tasks were shared by my elder sister and grandmother. In my early childhood, I don’t remember running into my mother for every need. She had many things to do and there were many helping hands in the house to share the burden. It was a collective upbringing. I don’t remember her likes or whims in those years.

 

As the years passed on, during my high school days, I began to understand the power of my mother. Our family that time was barely able to meet the needs of all the family members. Compared to today’s standards, we were poor. That is when I began to notice the role of my mother in running the family and putting her children’s needs above her’s. You can say all mothers do it. But there was a difference. My father’s contributions to shouldering the responsibility of family were not encouraging. It was left to my mother to run the show. I am not sure if it was in her personality or circumstances had made her so, my mother had a very wide social network. Her reputation and knack to garner support made our family machinery run smooth. I don’t remember any relative turning down my mother’s request for help. She too was there for them in the needy times. She was privy to many of our relative’s closest matters. She knew everything happened in those families and she would be there on every occasion. And in turn, I and my siblings would receive the affection among our relatives for being children of my mother.

 

I had given my first salary to my mother and had asked to buy a silk saree for herself. I learnt later that she had used it for family expenditure. I knew my mother was like a hub in the wheel for my family. Though I would support her as needed, I was also thinking I had the right to argue with her. She had her favorite and it was not me. And I would not agree with some of her decisions. Any effort of convincing would not change her mind. And there were times she was there with me with her full support. She had full faith in my abilities and there was never a moment of doubt. I was a star in her eyes. And she believed that I am a person to rely on in the difficult times. She hoped and wished I would achieve a lot more in life.

 

When I learnt of my mother’s death, it was difficult for me believe or digest it for many months to come. It was so sudden. The number of people who had come to pay her last respect mesmerized me. She had touched so many people’s lives. She had not much to offer than words of comfort and solace. But that was enough for her network. Everyone won’t need food or money but a shoulder to cry on and the words of courage to get through difficult times.

 

It never occurred to me that I would lose her. After losing the person who was proud of me, I realize my failure to accept her weaknesses. I always saw her as my mother but not as an individual with her own life motives. I am ashamed of my arguments with her. She would have taken no time to forgive me if she was alive. Surely, I would have done better. I pray for her departed soul. There are invaluable teachings she has instilled in me. Her memory gives me strength to face hardships of life.