Tuesday, December 28, 2021

ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ಕೈಗೊಂಬೆ ಮಾನವ

ನೀವು ದಟ್ಟ ಕಾಡಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಸಫಾರಿಗೆಂದು ಹೊರಟಿರುವಿರಿ. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅದೃಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೆ ಹುಲಿ ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಬೀಳುತ್ತದೆ. ನೀವು ಸುರಕ್ಷಿತ ಗಾಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತಿದ್ದು, ನಿಮಗೆ ಯಾವ ಅಪಾಯವಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೂ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಹೃದಯ ಬಡಿತ ಏರುತ್ತದೆ ಮತ್ತು ಉಸಿರಾಟ ತೀವ್ರವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆ ಇರದಿದ್ದರೂ ನಿಮ್ಮ ದೇಹ ಓಡಿ ಹೋಗಲು, ಅಥವಾ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಸಜ್ಜು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತದೆ. ಏಕೆ ಹೀಗೆ? ಉತ್ತರ ಸುಲಭ. ಮನುಷ್ಯ ಆದಿವಾಸಿಯಾಗಿ ಕಾಡಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಬದುಕುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಗ, ಹುಲಿಯನ್ನು ಕಂಡರೆ ಹೇಗೆ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ರಿಯಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದನೋ ಅದೇ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ರಿಯೆ ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಕೂಡ ಮನುಷ್ಯನಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಸು ಹೊಕ್ಕಾಗಿದೆ. ಲಕ್ಷಾಂತರ ವರುಷಗಳಿಂದ ವಿಕಾಸ ಹೊಂದುತ್ತಿರುವ ಮಾನವ ಕಾಡು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ನಾಗರಿಕತೆಗೆ ಬಂದು ಕೆಲ ಸಾವಿರ ವರುಶಗಳಷ್ಟೇ ಕಳೆದಿವೆ. ಸುಮಾರು ೪೦೦ ಕೋಟಿ ವರುಷ ಇತಿಹಾಸ ಹೊಂದಿರುವ ಜೀವ ವಿಕಾಸಕ್ಕೆ, ಸಾವಿರ ವರುಷಗಳು ಅಲ್ಪ ಸಮಯ ಮಾತ್ರ. ಇಷ್ಟು ಕಡಿಮೆ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಮನುಷ್ಯನ ಜೀನ್ ಗಳು ಮಾರ್ಪಾಡಾಗುವುದು ಅಸಾಧ್ಯ. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಅಲೆಮಾರಿ ಮನುಷ್ಯನ ಪ್ರವೃತ್ತಿಗಳು ಆಧುನಿಕ ಮನುಷ್ಯನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂಡ ಬದಲಾಗದೆ ಹಾಗೆ ಉಳಿದಿವೆ.


ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯು ಎಲ್ಲ ಜೀವಿಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ತಾನು ಜೀವ ಉಳಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವದಕ್ಕೆ ಮತ್ತು ವಂಶ ಮುಂದುವರೆಸುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಏನು ಬೇಕು ಅದನ್ನು ಮಾತ್ರ ಜೀನ್ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಸಾಂಕೇತಿಕ ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆದುಬಿಟ್ಟಿದೆ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ನೋಡಿ ಆಧುನಿಕ ಮನುಷ್ಯ ಎಲ್ಲ ಸವಲತ್ತುಗಳ ನಡುವೆಯೂ ಕೂಡ ನೆಮ್ಮದಿಯಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಒದ್ದಾಡುವುದು. ನೀವು ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗೆ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಲಾಟರಿ ಗೆದ್ದಿರುವಿರಿ ಎಂದುಕೊಳ್ಳೋಣ. ಆದರೆ ಅಂದು ಮಧ್ಯಾಹ್ನ ನೀವು ಊಟ ಮಾಡುವುದು ತಡ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ, ನಿಮ್ಮ ದೇಹ ಸಂಕಟ ಉಂಟು ಮಾಡಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಲಾಟರಿ ಗೆದ್ದ ಸಂತೋಷ ಮರೆತು ಹೋಗುವಂತೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತದೆ. ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಗೆ ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿರುವುದು ನೀವು ಊಟ ಮಾಡಿ ಜೀವ ಉಳಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು. ಹಾಗೆಯೇ ಅದು ಮೈಥುನದಲ್ಲಿ ಆನಂದವನ್ನು ಕ್ಷಣಿಕವಾಗಿಸಿದೆ. ಅದು ಉಂಟುಮಾಡುವ ಸಂವೇದನೆಗೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಹಾತೊರೆಯುವಂತೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತದೆ. ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಗೆ ಬೇಕಾಗಿರುವುದು ನೀವು ಜೀವ ಉಳಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು ಮತ್ತು ನಿಮ್ಮ ವಂಶ ಮುಂದುವರೆಯುವುದು ಮಾತ್ರ. ನೀವು ಸಂತೋಷವಾಗಿರುವುದು ಅಲ್ಲ. ನೀವು ಸಂತೋಷದಲ್ಲಿ ಮೈ ಮರೆತು ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ಹೇಗೆ? ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಅದು ಸಂತೋಷವನ್ನು ಕ್ಷಣಿಕವನ್ನಾಗಿಸಿ, ಮತ್ತೆ ಊಟ ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವಂತೆ, ಸಂಗಾತಿಯನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವಂತೆ ಪ್ರೇರೇಪಿಸುತ್ತ ಹೋಗುತ್ತದೆ. ದುಃಖ ಸಂವೇದನೆಗಳನ್ನು ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿ, ಕ್ಷಣಿಕ ಸಂತೋಷದ ಸಂವೇದನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಹಾತೊರೆಯುವಂತೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತದೆ.


ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ ವಿಕಾಸ ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಸಿದ ಜೀವಿಗಳು ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ನೆಮ್ಮದಿಯಿಂದ ಬದುಕಲಾರವು. ನೆಮ್ಮದಿ ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ಉದ್ದೇಶ ಅಲ್ಲ. ಬದಲಿಗೆ ಅದು ಜೀವಿಗಳನ್ನು ಸ್ಪರ್ಧೆಗೆ, ಪೈಪೋಟಿಗೆ ಹಚ್ಚುತ್ತದೆ. ಮನುಷ್ಯರಲ್ಲಿ ದುಡ್ಡು, ಆಸ್ತಿ, ಸಾಮಾಜಿಕ ಸ್ಥಾನಮಾನ ಇವುಗಳಿಗೆ ಪ್ರತಿ ದಿನ ಪೈಪೋಟಿ ಏರ್ಪಡುತ್ತದೆ. ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಗೆದ್ದವರ ಸಂತೋಷ ಕ್ಷಣಿಕ. ಅವರು ಮತ್ತೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಸ್ಪರ್ಧೆಗೆ ಬೀಳುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಆದರೆ ಸೋತವರ ವೇದನೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ದೀರ್ಘ ಕಾಲಿಕ. ವೇದನೆಯ ಸಂವೇದನೆಗಳನ್ನು ಮರೆಯಲು ಮಾನಸಿಕವಾಗಿ ದುರ್ಬಲನಾದ ಮನುಷ್ಯ ತನ್ನ ಸಂಕಟ ಮರೆಯಲು ನಶೆ ಮಾರ್ಗಗಳನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಅವು ಮನುಷ್ಯನಲ್ಲಿ ಉಂಟು ಮಾಡುವ ರಾಸಾಯನಿಕ ಕ್ರಿಯೆಗಳು, ಸಂವೇದನೆಗಳನ್ನು ತಾತ್ಕಾಲಿಕವಾಗಿ ಬದಲು ಮಾಡಿದರೂ, ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮರು ದಿನ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ತನ್ನ ನೋವಿನೊಂದಿಗೆ ವಾಪಸ್ಸು ಆಗುತ್ತದೆ.


ಸಂತೋಷ ಎನ್ನುವುದು ಹೊರಗಡೆ ಸಿಗುವ ವಸ್ತುವಲ್ಲ ಅದು ನಮ್ಮಲ್ಲೇ ಇರಬೇಕು ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಬುದ್ಧ. ಈಗ ಇರುವ ಪರಿಸ್ಥಿತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀವು ಸಂತೋಷವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದರೆ ನೀವು ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಕೂಡ ಸಂತೋಷವಾಗಿರಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲ ಎನ್ನುವುದು ಅವನ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯ. ನೀವು ಏನು ಗಳಿಸಿದರು ಅದರ ಆನಂದ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿ, ಮತ್ತೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಗಳಿಕೆಗೆ ಮುಂದಾಗುವಂತೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮನಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ ಪ್ರೇರೇಪಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಹೀಗೆ ಬಯಸುವುದನ್ನು ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸದಿದ್ದರೆ, ಬಳಲುವುದನ್ನು ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬ ಸತ್ಯವನ್ನು ಬುದ್ಧ ಕಂಡುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದ. ಅದನ್ನೇ ಸರಳವಾಗಿ 'ಆಸೆಯೇ ದುಃಖಕ್ಕೆ ಮೂಲ' ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿದ. ಗಮನಿಸಿ ನೋಡಿ, ಆಸೆಯನ್ನು ಹುಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕುವುದು ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ಮೂಲ ಗುಣ. ನೀವು ಅದರ ಕೈಗೊಂಬೆಯಾದರೆ, ಅದು ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಆಟ ಆಡಿಸುತ್ತದೆಯೇ ಹೊರತು ನೆಮ್ಮದಿ ಕೊಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ವಿರುದ್ಧ ನಿಮಗೆ ಈಜಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾದರೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ನಿಮಗೆ ಮುಕ್ತಿ ದೊರಕಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯ.


ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ವಿರುದ್ಧ ನೀವು ಈಜುತ್ತಾ ಹೋದಷ್ಟು ಅದು ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಮತ್ತೆ ತನ್ನ ದಾರಿಗೆ ಎಳೆದು ತರುತ್ತಾ ಹೋಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಬಯಕೆಗಳನ್ನು ಅದುಮಿಕಂಡಷ್ಟೂ ಅವು ಹೆಚ್ಚುತ್ತಾ ಹೋಗುತ್ತವೆ. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಬುದ್ಧನ ಹಿಂಬಾಲಕರೆಲ್ಲ ಅವನ ಹಾಗೆ ಜ್ಞಾನಿಗಳಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದು ಕಷ್ಟದ ಹಾದಿ. ಆದರೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯವೇ ಇಲ್ಲ ಎನ್ನುವ ಹಾಗಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದು ಬುದ್ಧನ ಮಾರ್ಗವೇ ಆಗಬೇಕೆಂದಿಲ್ಲ. ಭಕ್ತಿ ಮಾರ್ಗವಾದರೂ ಆದೀತು. ನಿಸ್ವಾರ್ಥ ಸೇವೆಯ ಕರ್ಮ ಮಾರ್ಗವಾದರೂ ಆದೀತು. ಧ್ಯಾನ ಮಾರ್ಗವಾದರೂ ಆದೀತು. ಜ್ಞಾನ ಸಂಪಾದಿಸುವ ಮಾರ್ಗವಾದರೂ ಆದೀತು. ಅವುಗಳ ಭೋದನೆ ಬೇರೆ ಬೇರೆಯಾದರು ಗುರಿ ಮಾತ್ರ ಒಂದೇ. ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಬಂಧಿಸಿಡುವ ಪ್ರಕ್ರಿಯೆಯಗಳಿಂದ ಹೊರ ಬರುವುದು. ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯನ್ನು ಗೆದ್ದವರನ್ನು ಹಸಿವು, ನೋವು ಬಾಧಿಸುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದೇನಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ ಅದನ್ನು ಸಮಾನ ಮನಸ್ಥಿತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸುವುದು ಅವರಿಗೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಗಿರುತ್ತದೆ.


ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಗೆ ತನ್ನನ್ನು ಮೀರಿದ ಸಾಧು-ಸಂತರಿಂದ ಏನು ಉಪಯೋಗ? ಅವರನ್ನು ತನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಲೀನವಾಗಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು, ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಸ್ವಾರ್ಥಿಗಳನ್ನು ಹುಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕುತ್ತ ಹೋಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಜೀವಿಗಳನ್ನು ನೆಮ್ಮದಿಯಾಗಿರಲು ಬಿಡದೆ ತನ್ನ ಯೋಜನೆಗೆ ಬಳಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತದೆ. ಗಂಡು ಜಿಮ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ದೇಹ ಧಾರ್ಡ್ಯ ಬೆಳೆಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಧನ ಸಂಪಾದಿಸುವ ಹೊಸ ಮಾರ್ಗಗಳನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಬಟ್ಟೆ ಅಂಗಡಿಗೆ, ಆಭರಣ ಅಂಗಡಿಗೆ ಧಾಳಿಯಿಟ್ಟು ತಾನು ಇನ್ನೂ ಸುಂದರ ಕಾಣುವ ಮಾರ್ಗಗಳನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾಳೆ. ಅವರಿಬ್ಬರ ಜೋಡಿಯನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ ಮರೆಯಲ್ಲೇ ನಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಅವರ ಯೌವನ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿ ಜೀವನದ ಅರ್ಥ ಏನು ಎಂದು ಗ್ರಹಿಸುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ, ಹೊಸ ಪೀಳಿಗೆಗೆ ತನ್ನ ಮೋಡಿಯನ್ನು ವರ್ಗಾಯಿಸಿರುತ್ತದೆ. ಬುದ್ಧ ಮಂದಹಾಸ ಬೀರಿದರೆ, ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ ಗಹಗಹಿಸಿ ನಗುತ್ತದೆ.

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Book Review: The beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch

Human beings have been staring at the sky since time immemorable. Our ancestors felt everything went around them. So, they said the Sun rises and sets. Few centuries ago, that misconception was corrected with a better explanation. Though we can’t confirm with our bare eye experience how the Solar system looks, students in school now are taught about solar system with a better explanation than that existed many centuries ago.

 

Newton’s laws of motion and his explanation about gravity have a universal appeal. All that is fine for those dwelling on the Earth. But for those traveling in a space shuttle or studying astrophysics, they begin to lose accuracy. If someone is traveling across a Galaxy and is nearby a Blackhole, Newton’s explanation becomes hopelessly wrong. Thanks to Einstein who offered a better explanation about time-space warping.

 

Science advances with error correction and better explanations. Nature packs the evolutionary progress in the form of genes and leads to biological evolution. But human beings have a special gift – creativity. Human beings are not limited by biological evolution and that is why we are so advanced than all other living beings on the Earth. Our ability to learn new things, communicate it with others, correct misconceptions with better explanations puts us on the path of progress. We move from infinite ignorance to infinite possibilities.

 

Naval Ravikant had mentioned about this book in his podcast. This book took few weeks of intensive reading for me. I had to re-read many of the paragraphs to digest the information and close my eyes to ponder about it. Not an easy book to read but no knowledge comes without toil. Physics, Astronomy, Microbiology, Evolution and Philosophy are all merged in this book and makes the reader understand the evolution of human beings and the advancement of science are interwoven.

 

Author of this book David Deutsch was born in Israel, now lives and works at Oxford. His research in Quantum Physics has been highly influential and highly acclaimed.




Sunday, December 12, 2021

Book Review: Don’t kill him by Sheela Bernstiel

I have read many books of Osho. I have watched lots of his discourses on Youtube. I have listened to his lectures on Podcasts for hundreds of hours. He has an unimaginable influence on my psyche. But all of that I know of him are his teachings only and not of the man who he was. Though I did read his autobiography, it did not give me a complete picture of his weaknesses or vulnerabilities. But this book by Sheela made me see the unknown side of Osho which was largely kept private.

 

Sheela was a close aide, a personal secretary and an ardent devotee of Osho. When Osho was becoming uncomfortable in his Pune ashram, Sheela was very instrumental in making the arrangements for Osho’s relocation to the US. Also, she was hands on in setting up the ashram there. Not just identifying and buying the land in the state of Oregon for Osho, she was completely immersed and dedicated in raising the funds, building the premises, setting up the environment as per Osho’s instructions and successfully administering it for few years. That brought Sheela close to Osho and see personal life of Osho which others could not.

 

In the eye of the public, Osho never seemed to be interested in micro-managing the affairs of the ashram. But he was getting it done through his puppets and one of them was his secretary Sheela. She explains in this book how she and her fellow sanyasin’s dedication towards Osho made them do everything asked of them. They also had to manage a mad side of Osho. His sexual relationship with an associate, his unending desire for luxury cars, his tantrums about him leaving his body soon, his impatience and rage when things were not done to his satisfaction and so on. Though Sheela accepts the enlightened man to be a divine being, but in the same breath she exposes Osho's limitations and compulsions as a human being which made him no better than any other common person.

 

She also reveals the tactics employed by Osho in calling some of his rich followers as enlightened beings. That was only to empty their pockets to fulfil his personal desires and lavish lifestyle and he would soon deflate their egos once his task was accomplished. Nonetheless, there was no dearth of followers and the flow of money towards Osho. Tired of his tantrums, Sheela separated herself from Osho and his organization she had helped to build. Later Osho accused Sheela on several fronts and she got convicted and went through a jail term. Many years later, she has put forward her side of story through this book.

 

Osho’s teachings are unquestionable but his conduct and personal life is not. He remained controversial throughout his life and openly admitted that he was a Guru for rich people. But beyond that, his personal life was unknown to even people lived in his ashram except a very few in his closest circle. And one of them has put forward her version of story. Osho is no more to defend or give any response. But the interesting takeaway from this book is, Osho went through the same emotions of a normal person though he was spiritually evolved. Though his knowledge had known no bounds, his charm was artificial. He showed pathway to spiritual seekers but also emptied the pockets of the unsuspecting rich. He was an enlightened Guru but also a cunning businessman. This makes me think the Bhagawan was also a common man in many aspects as he could not live a life of austerity.



Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Book Review: The Audacity of Hope by Barrack Obama

Politics without doing politics

 

When Barrack Obama was calling for press meets during earlier days of his political career, no one would turn up. He had to drive for hours to deliver a speech only to find that there are only two people sitting across a kitchen table. But he had the audacity to hope that his ideals would be noticed, and his thoughts accepted sooner than later. So began his journey into politics while he remained humble throughout his journey to the Whitehouse.

 

His thoughts, ideas, opinions, and struggles are all documented in this book ‘The Audacity of Hope’. This is not just his account or biography. It is much more than that. It is about American dream. It is about the oppressed. It is about Democrats vs. Republicans. It is about those who built the constitution. It is about what politics can do and cannot do to uplift the lives of those at the bottom of pyramid. It is about the values one brings to the table. It is about identifying the opportunities and taking bold steps to realize them. It is about representing his voters and constituency. It is about why few politicians change their personalities and become corrupt on the way. It is about how to influence the larger society to bring in a change. It is about bringing in policies that would show results only after a decade. It is about his religion and race. It is about remaining empathetic while being in control of political power.

 

If you had liked Obama delivering his speeches, he would further impress you in this book with his finer arguments, care for the underprivileged, and his ideas about a broader society not limiting to citizens of America. I wish I had read this book earlier but nevertheless better late than never. I wish that my sons read this book too when they are ready, to get a broader view of what life offers. For budding politicians, this book could be an inspiration. And for any other regular readers, this book will surely expand their horizons and refine their thoughts and perspectives.



Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Surviving the Psychological Warfare

There was Dara Shukoh, prince of Mughal Kingdom, son of emperor Shah Jahan. He was designated to take the throne after his father. He was well versed with religion, philosophy, and many other subjects. He had built a library in Kashmir, a first of its kind. He was well known for his kindness and wisdom. He was a well-rounded personality liked by his people. But he lacked one important skill – fighting the war. And his younger brother Aurangzeb excelled at it while he lacked Dara Shukoh’s knowledge, wisdom, and calmness. When the war began between brothers, Dara Shukoh had to flee the war field, but he was soon caught and brutally killed by Aurangzeb. History thus taught us one important lesson: If you don’t have survival skills, all other skills, knowledge, and poise do not matter. They won’t help you survive. You are killed and forgotten.

 

In today’s world, we face more psychological warfare’s than the physical one’s. So instead of sharpening the physical weapons, we need to train our mind and senses to identify the abusers and defend ourselves. My recent experience was with a small group of abusers who wanted to manipulate me for their own benefit. Here is what my manipulators were doing.

  • There were heap of lies and false accusations. They were fighting as a group and managed to keep it in private. If they were caught in logical argument, they would deny that they had lied, or such an incident ever had happened. If you produced proofs, they would further argue that that is not what they intended and in turn accuse me of understanding them wrongly.
  • They never took accountability for their actions. All the blames were passed to me. And they would continue to distort facts and badmouth, creating a sympathy for themselves while portraying me as the person troubling them. But in private they were aggressive and manipulating.

After going through intense pain, I began to observe same trends repeating all over again and again. Soon I could understand their games. And thanks to Google and many people who had shared their similar experiences. I learnt that narcissism is for real. Then I began to make few changes to my ways when I encountered my manipulators again.

 

  • Expose: I began to expose them and their tantrums with a slightly larger audience. It was no more secret and private. And it made the manipulators to work hard on their part.
  • Make them aware of consequences: Rather than pleasing them, I too took an aggressive path and invited them for a fight, be it legal or an escalated physical aggression. And I made it clear to them that I was aware of all their lies. I had ample proofs to fight a legal war with them and also has the necessary support needed to endure a physical fight as well.
  • Bring in supporters: I brought in my group of supporters too which conveyed them a message that I am not alone. I too got emotional support and practical advices in beating my abusers in their own game.

Surprisingly I learnt that the moral discussions could not help but things like exposing them, inviting them for an open war and bringing in supporters did help. They are withdrawing and calling for peace now as they are more worried about their loss. They understood they are fighting a losing battle and they misjudged their target. These abusers with a moral mask were shattered and they were made come to terms by turning the tables on them.

 

I wish Dara Shukoh had learnt battle skills along with those what he was praised for. Had he done so, India would have got a better emperor than Aurangzeb. But it did not turn out that way. That is history now. If we don't learn form history, it keeps repeating all over. We need to keep sharpening our fighting skills to survive. Just being moral won’t help.