Life hacks against a narcissist

I do not have the luxury of going "No Contact" as I have kids with my narcissist.  Boundary of any form does not work as she draws sadistic pleasure in destroying those boundaries. Despite such odds, few things have worked well for me:

1. No dependence: I don't depend on my narcissistic partner for any of my stuff. I do things myself.

2. Minimum communication: For kids' sake, we need to communicate but I will keep it to a bare minimum with "Yes" or "No" replies. I neither initiate any discussion nor share my opinions with her.

3. "Same to you" reply for insults: If she tries to insult me, I will respond to it with a "Same to you" reply. If she accuses my parents, again I will say "Same to your parents" and end the conversation there. Tolerating abuse will encourage the narcissist to step up the game. And going into a lengthy argument with them is a waste of time.

4. "I don't trust you" to shut her off: If she tries to advise me or pulls me into a new game, I will just say "I don't trust you" and refuse to engage further. That shuts her off from extending the game.

5. Bring in witnesses: When she throws temper tantrums, I will call people nearby to become witnesses for the drama. Narcissists are scared of their masks falling off. So they will become normal again in no time. If there is no one available nearby, I will video record the drama on my cell phone without responding to her provocations. Narcissists don't want evidence created against them. That ensures drama comes to an end quickly.

6. Proactively guard my reputation: Narcisissts one or the other day will attempt to damage your reputation by spreading false information and making themselves a victim. So I proactively speak to people I care about such a possibility that ensures the smear campaign of the narcissist will not have the desired impact.

7. "Say Nice try" when gaslighted: When she attempts to gaslight me, I will say "Nice try" and smile calmly looking into her eyes. She understands that I see through her and her attempt to manipulate me fails miserably.

8. Meet flying monkeys with your supporters: I refuse to talk and walk away from the flying monkeys sent by the narcissist. I will face them only when I have people who support me are there for a countermeasure. That avoids bullying attempts by the flying monkeys.

Living with a narcissist is a pain. If you let them take control, your life would become miserable. It is better to manage them to keep the damage to a minimum. Meanwhile, don't forget to spend time away from the narcissist in the company of people you like to recharge your batteries. Keeping the energy drain from the narcissist to a minimum helps us survive and thrive.